Why do I have a hard time letting go?

Some of us have such a hard time letting go. Whether its a mug or grandmas tea set, some of us have a much harder time than others decluttering. I want to run through a few reasons why we struggle and a few ways we can work on changing it.

  1. Guilt. This is one of the biggest reasons why some of us struggle to let go. Guilt is a nasty little feeling that nags at us, causes anxiety, and makes us feel icky for letting go of things that have memories, history or sentimental value. There are many ways to move past the guilt, but the biggest thing to know is that your life is going to be so much better once you let go of the guilt as well the stuff. There are many ways to let stuff go, Marie Kondo recommends thanking it and then letting it go. This is one way to help us move past the guilt. Another way is to take pictures of things you want to remember and make an album on your phone with them.

  2. To Save Money. Keeping things in your home to possibly same money in the future can cost you so much more in the long run. I’ve seen it so many times, people buying bulk soap and then buying more because the forget they have it.

  3. Lack of Motivation. This is a huge obstacle for many of us to begin the process of letting stuff go.  Some ways to help combat this is: putting on some good music, watching some organizing or cleaning videos or setting a timer for 10 minutes to see what you can get accomplished. Schedule a pick up date and time from a local organization and make that your end goal for finishing your process. I can say from experience, the lack of motivation bug hits everyone in every area of life, what matters is that we still commit and move past it. When you decide to start your decluttering and organizing journey write a list of all the reasons you would like to declutter your life and stick it on your phones home screen or refrigerator. Set daily reminders and an appointment with yourself in your phone and make it a priority. If it helps, get your family in on the fun. We highly recommend you don’t declutter any of their things without their permission however. 

  4. Mental health issues can cause us to cling on to stuff. Often traumas from our past can cause us to have a hard time letting go. This can stem from so many different scenarios as well as manifest itself in so many ways. We can struggle with letting go of the past, over buying for our loved ones and not letting go of things in our home. These issues will cause us to struggle with letting go and hoard things. If you are struggling with this and its not just a lack of motivation and some underlying guilt & you are finding you are completely unwilling to let things go, you may want to seek professional help to guide you through your underlying trauma that is stopping you from letting things go. 

Try keeping these things in mind

  • Our memories are inside ourselves and not tied up in “things”. Just because you let a vase go that your great great grandmother passed down doesn’t mean you are letting go of her or your memory of her.

  • The more items you have the longer it takes you to clean and tidy your home which takes away from other things that truly mean sometime to you like time with your loved ones.

    Whatever your path or journey in life is, it will inevitably involve letting go of certain things. When you let go in an organized way, then you are able to do it on your terms and not let life dictate them. Be strong and direct the course of your life journey.

Melanie McConnell is a Professional Organizer and the owner of Mello Spaces. A former elementary school teacher and a mom of 2 under 2 she helps families get organized. Check out her website www.mellospaces.com and follow her on Instagram: @mellospaces


Florena Davies is a Professional Organizer and Owner of Organize by Flo. She helps individuals and families of all kinds achieve their organizational goals and create spaces that reflect their unique needs and lifestyles. Check out her website at https://www.organizebyflo.com/ and on instagram @organizebyflo.